


2005

by FennecFoundaPencil, justasp0rk



Series: Reddie Oneshots [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Cute, Flashback, Fluff, Homecoming, M/M, Reddie, Teens, richie stop talking challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FennecFoundaPencil/pseuds/FennecFoundaPencil, https://archiveofourown.org/users/justasp0rk/pseuds/justasp0rk
Summary: Richie says some really offensive stuff but we're both gay and Windex is a jew so its allowed
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Reddie Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652437
Comments: 11
Kudos: 23





	2005

Richie slid into the room, adjusting his suit as he entered. 

“All right losers, the freshman dance, homecoming, am I going to steal hearts?” 

“You already have,” Beverly droned with a lazy grin. She passed the blunt she was holding to Stan, who made a face at it. All the losers were gathered in Bill’s newly renovated basement getting ready for homecoming. The only one not there yet was Eddie. 

“Why orange?” Mike asked, genuinely curious. 

“He’s trying to look like one, just needs to dye his hair green,” Ben commented. He was adjusting his own black suit, eyebrows drawn in focus. Hitting the gym had been doing wonders for ol’ haystack, he even managed to snag a date for the dance. 

“Don’t guh-guh-give him ideas,” Bill said. He was smoothing back his hair in the mirror and frowning before ruffling it again, trying to decide which looked better. Richie hadn’t even bothered with hair.

“If ya’ve got the dye, mista!” He loudly proclaimed, slipping between his friends to plop down on the couch. Beverly scrunched her nose with distaste, seeing how his suit wrinkled. “Betcha we can get it done lickity split! Have it a new pop before even Eddio gets here, give him a mini heart attack before we go get wasted!”   
“Richie, there won’t be alcohol.”

Richie tsked at Stan, shaking his head. “See, since you’re a virgin, I’ll let it slide Stan the Man. One warning, that’s it.” 

“Are you and Eddie going together?”

“Not officially, but little spaghetti has nothing better to do than kick it with me,”

“Bev, which luh-looks better,” Bill asked. 

“Babe, you look amazing either way,” 

Ben checked his watch. “Mia’s waiting down the block, I’m gonna go meet up with her, see ya!”

He ran up the steps with pep, excited. 

“Isn’t guh-going with Eddie a luh-little gay?” Bill asked. 

“Let them have their fun,” Mike argued. 

“What about your date?” Bev asked, taking her blunt back from Stan who had been reluctantly holding it for her. 

“Stan and I are joining hands in bachelor solidarity,” 

“Biracial rights,” Richie whistled. 

“Fuck off,” Stan snapped back. “Being Jewish isn’t a race, it’s an ethnicity, there’s a-”   
Richie hopped up from the couch and pulled two strands of his hair by his ears down, mimicking the stereotypical look for a Jewish man. “Gimme all your coin, sonny boy! Don’t be shy now, know you’ve got more than that, you Christ lovers have all the riches! Whadda say, spare a couple change? Give me the ol’ bag of shakes? Jews like me need all we can get our grubby little hands-”

“Shut up Richie,” Stan droned, throwing a pillow at him. 

“Yeah, beep beep,” Mike added. 

There was the sound of chatter upstairs then footsteps coming down. Eddie hopped into the room with a smile on his face, curls slicked down enough you’d think his hair was always straight. He had on a polka-dot button up and dress pants, accented by a small bow-tie. Adorable. With his size he probably had to get it in the kids section, psh. Richie cracked himself up. 

“Hey guys! Sorry I’m late!”

“Aw, Eds you look good,” Beverly complimented. Richie grinned and swerved around the Losers to stand side by side with Eddie, long limbs making it much easier than it should’ve been. 

“Paint splatter on ya while your mom drove you over, Eddie my love?” He grabbed a sleeve of the suit and started to harshly rub on a dot, shaking his head. “Eds, you gotta be less clumsy, imagine the six year old boy who needed this for his great grandpa's funeral! He’d be devastated, Eds,  _ devastated.”  _

The suit was really soft. 

“So Eddie,” Mike asked, ignoring Richie. “Are you going with anyone?”

“I was planning on going with you guys-“ 

Richie grabbed Eddie’s face and placed a big kiss on his forehead, ruffling his too straight hair. “He’s with me!”

Eddie pouted and pushed him away. “Rich, stop!” 

“ _ Rich stoppppp!”  _ Richie mocked. 

“Okay kids,” Stan muttered. “Everyone ready?”    
“Not a chance, Stan the Man,” Richie circled around Eddie, pretending to be deep in thought about the spots on his suit. “We’ve still got a situation on our hands, fashion crisis.”    
“Richie,” Beverly cut in. “You’re wearing bright orange.” 

“But it’s not stained!” He stopped behind Eddie, adjusting his glasses. “Awight, wabbit, I’ve got a plan.”    
Before anyone could protest, except for a groan that Stan had managed, Richie scooped Eddie up with a big grin. “Gotta carry ya so you don’t mess up that pretty suit anymore, Ms.! Just being a gentleman!” 

“God put me down and shut-“ Richie firmly placed his lips on Eddie’s, successfully shutting him up. He pulled back with a grin and looked at the other Losers. 

“We ready to rock and roll?” 

Stan and Mike exchanged a glance while Bill rolled his eyes. 

Beverly, however, was smiling. “What was that, boys?” 

“How I beep beep Eddio here!” He nudged the side of Eddie’s face with his nose. “Makes him stop ramblin’, you all act like I’m the only one with a chatterbox issue here, it’s really not fair. Why, just last week Stan was going off about the birds and the bees, literally, wouldn’t shut up about how we’re gonna end up killing em all, but does  _ he  _ get beeped?  _ No _ , thats for Trashmouth Tozier, can’t beep beep a Jew, might get called the second Hitler, you never know these days.”

“Beep beep,” Stan deadpanned in response. 

Bill walked up behind Bev and Stan on the couch, looking between Eddie who had hidden his red face in Richie’s neck and the ever loud Trashmouth. 

“Are yuh-you two dating?” 

“No!” Eddie piped up, looking at Bill. “We’re just close,” 

“Can’t cheat on Eds mom like that, break her old, fat, greasy, deep fried, half working, probably cancer ridden heart.” He got elbowed by Eddie for that one, but his bucked teeth smile never wavered.

“Fags,” Stan joked. 

“Totally,” Bev agreed. 

“Hey!” Eddie snapped. “It’s totally normal for guys to be close, you guys just are sexist,” 

“Uh-huh,” Mike answered, looking unconvinced. 

“So you’d kiss muh-me?” Bill asked. “We’re close,” 

Eddie looked between him and Richie, stammering. “O-of course!” 

“You would?” Richie said, eyebrows drawn together in a worry he couldn’t place. 

“Well,” Eddie started. “It’s just an um, friend thing,” 

“Do it then,” Bill challenged.

“Babe-“

“No Bev, c’mon Eddie, juh-jump down and kuh-kiss me,” 

Eddie laughed awkwardly, tentatively removing himself from Richie’s arms. Richie glanced at Bill, narrowing his eyes into a look that could be described as nothing less than murderous. 

“Guys,” Mike interrupted. “I don’t think this is necessary,” 

“Huh-He said it’s a friend thing,” 

“ _ Best _ friend,” Richie snapped, though he really didn’t mean to. Eddie kissing Bill should be funny, a good chuck, but it wasn’t and Richie didn’t want to see it. It was like when Beverly saw Patrick giving Henry a good old helping hand. Same feeling, same situation. 

“If you guys are together we won’t judge you,” Beverly assured. “Love is love,” 

“Eddie,” Bill stated. “C’mon then,”

The teen rolled his shoulders, looking between Richie and Bill. “I would, but Richie always promises to brush his teeth and you and I haven’t really been over that stuff so it’s not something we can kinda just do, germs and all,” 

“Bill brushes his teeth everyday,” Stan assured. Richie added him to a mental hit list. He forced out a laugh and stepped between Bill and Eddie with two long strides, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“So we walkin’ to the school gym or did someone get us a ride? I would have, being loved by everyone in town and all, but afraid that the limo company wasn’t fond of me getting with every wife they had, so I got taken off the list-” 

“Richie,” Stan, teased. “Move, the show was getting good,” 

Richie fumed and quickly looked at everyone in the room, running a hand down his face before turning to Eddie and grabbing his waist. He pulled the boy in for a passionate kiss, leaning him down into a dip like he’d seen in the romantic silent films in the cinema. Richie even moved his glasses out of the way so that they wouldn’t bonk against Eddie’s nose, his eyes squeezed shut and face hot red even as he pulled away. The room was completely silent.

“Has my cooties now,” Richie rushed out, taking a small step away from Eddie. “Can’t kiss him. Get infected. Got a disease called Richieitis, fatal if you get it from someone that’s not me, bad news, sorry folks.” 

Eddie slowly lifted a hand to his lips, face tinting pink. He was completely silent as the rest of the room fell into chaos. 

“I knew it!” 

“Suh-seriously!”

“Congrats guys,” 

Eddie turned to him, baby blue eyes wide in shock. “Are we...” He began to ask. 

“What!” Richie let out a loud laugh. “I was just giving you cooties so you couldn’t kiss Bill, that’s all,” 

“Oh,” 

“You don’t just do that,” Mike teased. 

“Well mista, afraid I just did,” He shoved his hands deep into his pockets so none of his friends could see how they started to tremble, knowing him long enough to be able and call his bluff from the little tick. “Ya see, Eddio and I gots a special relationship, yessir! Can’t have him smoochin’ anyone else.”

“Sounds like a couple thing to me,” Beverly called in a sing song voice, even getting  _ Stan  _ to smile, the traitorous rat. Bill nodded with agreement, looking way too proud of himself. Richie didn’t know how they could joke about this stuff, and he joked about a lot of things. Georgie, Eddie’s dead dad, the racism that Stan and Mike dealt with… It was all to lighten the mood, and maybe because he couldn’t shut his yapper, but this was different.

The town needed Mike’s family because they were the main providers for meat, he would get hurt by the Bowers shits, sure, but not too badly. They needed Stan’s family because Derry had to not look like a Nazi infested shithole town, which it already was. But Richie? They didn’t need Richie,  _ or  _ Eddie. If people started thinking that they were fags,  _ really  _ thinking that…

“Well Ms. Marsh,” Richie started, taking a deep bow. “‘fraid you’re mistaken there.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed quietly. “We’re no fags, c’mon,” He smoothed down his hair nervously as he spoke. “And I mean, Richie? He’s like uh, he’s like my brother, we grew up together, we’re just close,” 

“We’re just close,” Richie echoed, standing back up straight. So what if he wanted to kiss Eddie like he was a girl, or stayed up late during their sleepovers to make sure he was asleep before giving him one final peck on the cheek? Those were their secrets, those were for them. They didn’t have to tell the Losers everything.

Though, considering they hadn’t even told themselves, he wasn’t sure if it counted. 

Beverly gave them both a look, which apparently prompted Eddie to continue. 

“Seriously! I mean, you really think I’d date Richie?  _ Richie? _ ” He laughed anxiously, “Funny guys, really,” 

Eddie only looked more and more wound up as he waited for someone else to say something,  _ anything _ , standing so tensed that Richie thought he might crack. Normally, he'd try and comfort him.

Normally.

The silence lasted for too long, Bill looking down at his dress shoes to kick the floor.  _ Finally _ , Stan spoke up with a grin.

"He probably has rabies," 

"And an early case of leper," Beverly piped.

"Think his rambling means future strokes?"

"Ruh-Riddled with disease," 

"Hey, Trashmouth, got maggots in those cheeks or what?" 

"Only the ones your mom gave me when I went down on her," He bit back, but his voice wasn't as there. Didn't have the same energy spike.

Was he a fagolag for wishing Eddie would wake up a girl? 

“We should go,” Eddie piped in, seeming much more comfortable. He grabbed Richie’s arm and linked their elbows, pulling him upstairs. 

"We'll be right behind you!" Their mischievous redhead called to them, an evident smile to her tone. Richie didn't know if he should thank her or thank her.

Guess he had to thank her.

"You alright there, Eddio?" 

“Yeah,” His friend mumbled. “Can’t believe they really thought we were gay huh?” 

“They’re just bored,” He said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Too little goin’ on in Derry, need something to talk about before they go crazy, Eds, rumor mill turns like crazy.” Richie huffed out a laugh. “Us being a couple of fruits would be pretty wild, huh?” 

“Yeah, yeah, pretty wild,” Eddie echoed. “What’s your opinion on queers Rich?”    
Richie stopped walking with Eddie once they reached Bill’s front porch, the streets filled with teens around their age walking to Derry High. Almost every single one was hand in hand with someone, and the ones that weren’t were in huge groups. He wondered what  _ they  _ looked like. Two boys standing on the front porch of a house that wasn’t theirs in gaudy suits. 

“I don’t know,” He answered honestly. 

“My mom says they’re all gonna die of AIDs and go to hell,”

“My mom says they’re gonna be stoned,” He paused, meeting Eddie’s eyes. “My uncle lives up in Canada though, says nothin’ will happen to ‘em.” Richie gave his best friend a wobbly, unsure smile. “Aye?” 

Eddie took his hand in his own, giving Richie an unsure smile back. “Aye,” 

“Unrelated,” Richie walked off the porch with Eddie, not sure where he was going, but knowing that it wasn’t in the direction of the school. “How do you feel about the cold, Eddie Spaghetti?”

“I mean, the cold is better than the heat, you can at least wear jackets and blankets in the cold,” 

“People are pretty warm,” 

Eddie squeezed his hand. “Yeah, they are,” 

“Are you a big fan of dogs?”

“Never had one,”

“Neither have I,”

“I like the soft ones,” 

“I like the sweet ones,” 

“Big dogs are pretty sweet already,” 

Richie hummed, swinging their arms. “I like huskies.” 

“Huskies?” Eddie asked. He pout his lips in thought. “I could do a husky,” 

_ That  _ prompted the brunette to grin. “The husky is an us thing, Eds?” 

“I assumed all of this was an us thing,” 

Richie stopped walking and grinned harder, scooping Eddie up into his arms. “Oh Eds I do!”

“ _ Shut up Richie,” _

_ “I always knew you loved me Eds!”  _

_ “Richie! Put me the fuck down!”  _

Richie sat back on his heels, staring blankly at the fallen Neilbolt house. Behind him someone was talking, urging him to stand, do something. 

He couldn’t feel his legs, he couldn’t feel his arms. He swore he could feel the phantom streaks of tears down his face but they seemed far away. 

He thought the life or whatever was supposed to flash before the person dying’s eyes.

Not the one who had to watch. 

He deflated and dropped his head. 

“ _ So what color do we want the house? I was thinking bright bright orange! To match my suit! It’ll be sentimental! Whatcha think? Like the idea? I like the idea!” _

_ “Richie were not painting our house fucking orange, it can be...peach,”  _

_ “So it looks constantly naked? Gross Eds,” _

_ “Peach is a pretty color,”  _

“Richie please,” Beverly begged behind him. “He’s gone okay? Let’s go back to the quarry, clean off, you’ll be okay,” 

The words didn’t register in his mind. The quarry? But the water was so dirty. 

“ _ How much does it cost to move countries anyways?”  _

“Richie,” Mike said calmly, kneeling down beside him. “C’mon buddy,” 

“ _ A fucking ton Eds,”  _

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” 

_ “I heard Canada’s money is waterproof,” _

Richie looked down at his hand, a weak finger coming to lay on the ring on his left hand. This all had to be some sort of sick nightmare, life had fucked him over enough, was it seriously gonna take...take him away too? 

“ _ We’ll test that,”  _

“I’m good,” Richie choked out. “Hip, hop, hooray, back to the hotel,” 

“ _ Canada bound, a modern Romeo and John we are,”  _

_ “Beep beep Richie,”  _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> lol I'm not sorry


End file.
